Solutions

For adoptive families

Does This Sound Familiar?

You thought that because you have parenting skills and surplus love you could help a child or children who have been removed from their biological parent(s). It seems simple, you have space and love, and they need a home. You may or may not have biological children as well and you welcome the adoptive child or children into your home. In many cases, there can be visible negative coping skills from the beginning. No one gets torn away from their birth family without pain and trauma being involved. In other cases, the children will internalize the pain they have gone through. Everyone tries their hardest to fit together and understand each other. And sometimes you reach a point where you don’t know what to do any longer. You’ve tried therapy for them, therapy for you, therapy for the other kids, and family therapy. Sometimes it seems the more you try the further the chasm becomes between you and this beautiful child (or children) whom you love so much. All you wanted was to be their parent, love them, share wonderful experiences, have them trust you, and turn to you when they were in need. What you have instead is a child who perhaps tells you what you want to hear, but does the opposite, or becomes openly defiant.

There are a myriad of different scenarios. Some are better and some are worse. The thing that rings true in all the scenarios is that you want things to work out. You did not make this commitment to this young human only to get to this point where things are out of control and chaotic.

This is where Wrap Around comes in. We have skilled people on our team who are happy and willing to join your team to infuse you with added knowledge, hope, and services. We help you all individually and as a family find your way back to yourself and each other. We help you to find a common goal to work towards. We try to help you simplify things and take some pressure away. We work with your entire family and any other agencies that may already be involved and we form a Family Team. This team is made up of your family as well as natural supports (other family members like aunts, grandparents, or even the basketball coach or a teacher, etc.)

A Story about Judith and Molly

(Names have been changed for confidentiality)

Judith, a single mom with two biological children decided she wanted to help kids who were in foster care. She got licensed to do foster care and after a short period found a child who was deemed adoptable. The child had been through 3 previous foster homes and had been separated from her sister. By the time she got to Judith’s house, she was 7 years old and scared. She would go through long temper tantrums and act sexually inappropriately.

As time went on Judith thought that things were going well, and that Molly was feeling comfortable and at home. Years went by and although some things weren’t exactly what Judith had imagined, she and Molly were doing well together. Molly was now a teenager and developed high levels of anxiety. She would overreact to simple things and argue constantly. Judith began to question her reality and her parenting skills. She had no idea that Wrap Around existed until she found out from a therapist who had a previous family who had gotten Wrap Around services.

Judith called our agency and asked us a lot of questions. We came to her home, and we met her and Molly as well as their pets. We did an extensive family history and spent time with each of them individually. Luckily Molly was open to meeting with us, although very reserved.

We infused the family with one of our skilled clinicians as well as two Youth Care Coaches (one chosen by the family and one we had on staff). We began slowly gathering their natural support and started to have weekly family team meetings. There was no other agency involvement, but we did work with Molly’s school and got her a 504 plan to relieve some of the anxiety she had about test taking and made key people aware of her internal struggles so that she could leave classes as needed for breaks.

We worked with this family for months. We worked with Molly to see a psychiatrist which helped relieve some of the overwhelming anxiety while doing therapy to teach her different coping skills. We worked with Judith to help her understand who Molly was, versus who she wanted Molly to be. And because we were there, Molly and Judith felt less pressure and began to open up more to one another.

Since we identified external supports (and urged the family to reach out to these people to come to the family team meetings- we may have bribed them with gift cards), the family now had more supports to rely on and spend time with together and separately.

We are still in touch with Judith and Molly. Things aren’t perfect, but they are dedicated to one another and have open communication. They can meet one another where they are and continue to work on acceptance of themselves and each other. Molly recently stopped taking her medication for anxiety and found that all the coping skills she learned work!

Wrap Around Family

Story Title 2

Story…

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Frequently Asked Questions

Your child qualifies if a medical doctor or licensed psychotherapist / psychiatrist agrees that Wrap Around Services would benefit your child and keep them from potentially going to a higher level of care.

Several factors determine qualification. The first is that you need to have an adopted child younger than 18. Next, you must be eligible for AAP (the adoption assistance program). This means if you did a private adoption, chances are you do not qualify. If your family is eligible for AAP, and you are having difficulties with your adopted child, please contact us.

Wrap Around is what it sounds like. As an agency we will come in and infuse your family with support, helping to temporarily fill in needed pieces while working collaboratively with you to stabilize your family over our time together.

The services are offered in your county. Most meetings/services will take place either in your home and/or in the community. If therapeutic services are offered with a therapist, this may occur in the therapists office.

Wrap Around services are helpful because it helps hold hope for families that the way it is doesn’t have to be the way it will always be. We are a full service agency staffed with Youth Care Coaches, therapists, and other staff that will help your family.

Wrap Around services are helpful because we bring the services to you. You are in charge, nothing about you without you! We create a team and we work towards your families goals. We do not force you to do things, it is family driven, family voice and choice. We come with a qualified team of therapists, youth care coaches and other staff!

Visit our Contact Page.

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